I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize