you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
