My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
