Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
