I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
