i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
