yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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