after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
