my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
