I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
