Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
