so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He has the fingertips of a God
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
