whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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