his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize