you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
