This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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