Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
