I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
