how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
