he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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