do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
