she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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