Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
