hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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