I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
