After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
