can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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