the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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