You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize