I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
