dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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