So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
