So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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