bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
