I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
