Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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