We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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