Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
