Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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