My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
