Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
