your room smells of hookers.
And success
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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