i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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