cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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