We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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