I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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