walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
