tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize