haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
