You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
