Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
