Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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