He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
