you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
porn star boner night. come get it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
