the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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