TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
