is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
