READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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