I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
