her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We need to rekindle our bromance
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
