My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
