well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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