ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
