So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
