so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
