On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
