is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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