when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
