are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
